Monday, October 25, 2010

Crawdaddy Moment of the Day

I felt so shitty today. You know the feeling?  It's listening to that bitch Wanda tell you that story about her tired ass boyfriend; still acting like Corky from Life Goes On. You feel a sink in your stomach. You tweek a little and take your eyes off Wanda but that bitch doesn't notice. She's in the middle of her long drawn out tale of how Byron never does shit! You feel a rumble. Your stomach caves in. More rumbling. At any moment, you will need to make a quick dash to the bathroom... Well, that's how i felt all friggin frackin day LONG. My hair was tore as well.

So, an MTA bus driver (old crusty looking, just off work, still sportin his uniform,  and buying a 40) hands this Iranian, carmel, dreamsicle cashier (so cute) his $2.47 IN CHANGE! Crusty turns and looks dead at my boobs. He looks so far into my chest that he can find the scar from me burning my tits from a pop tart 5 years ago. He finally finds my face and is like 'hey, miss miss, wanna have a drink wit me'. Of course, i had my boyfriends Four Loco and my Boones Farm in my hand. I just shook my head and diverted my gaze like I'm Rosie O'Donnel.

Just foul. 


maybe I could take it as a compliment. Maybe I could come off classy. I could smile, nod, and politely shake my head no. Maybe I could run up to him and thrust my boobs into his face and take a deep breath and say aaaaaabsolutely. 

Um, no not going to happen. Completely offended here. If I weren't going to sooth my shitty day with that there Boones, I would shove it up his walnut shaped ass.

I swear. There are crawdaddies for any occasion. Crawdaddies everywhere. Hangin out at corner stores, Mcdonald's, Claires, salon's, subways, airports, parks, senior centers, sports bars, librarys, yo mama's house, church, school, movie theaters, bathrooms, rest stops, book clubs, gyms, target, band practice, FCA, work, hospitals, and even up your nose. Blah blah.

this concludes my C moment of the Day.