Kelly likes his #$&^ in ya belly

Okay, I love Rrrrrrrrr. I do. I really love him. I mean the man has the jams. Now some people have just jumped on the R.Kelly train and that's cool but I've always been a fan. Ha hahaha hahaha Ha jumped on his train.

I remember making out to Honey Love with this subpar boy while his dad was in the other room watching Alex Trebeck. The most important part was Mr. Kells. I also had this friend Chris who lived in Peoria and Chicago forever. Anyway, his best friend use to work at R. Kelly's studio. Mr. Kelly up in ya Belly would have all kinds of young ass dolls coming in and sucking him off. He needed it. Oh he needed it. I guess it was no big deal but then that all changed.

R. Kelly got all above it all and decided to marry Aaliyah. RIP. We love Aaliyah. If we were R.Kelly we would've fallen prey to that young tiziiight pussy. I wonder if he asked Aaaliyah to pee on him. I hope so. I hope she peeeeeeed on his face. Cause his face needs some beauty. R. Kelly is straight up fug. Staright up now tell me. Tell meeeee. I think Aaliyah's pee might've put a little more cute up in his game.

Anyway, the marriage was said to not have happened but R. Kelly himself admits to the love he and Aaliyah had. I guess after that bright and shining star he had to fuck alot of young babies. Doin it for the kids. That's some stand up shit there. Fucking the babies for the babies.

Shit, it's the norm now. I mean women are up in the game. Get it and hit it cougars. I'm glad women are making it happen minus the pee... Like my friend Jen said 'if he's got a stick i will drive it'. SAAAAAVE THE BABIES.

Back to Mr. Kelly up in ya Belly, he got caught pissing on some girl in a video. Stupid Ass. Seriously, dude. Get a grip. Hold your pee or dont tape it. I mean people have to get off. I feel ya but when it comes to adding piss and shit well keep it on the DL have we not learned anything from Chuck Berry.

Cheers or Jeers to ChiTowns Finest Crawdaddy. Man, I need to go listen to some bump and grind and then go bump in grind.

http://gossiboocrew.files.wordpress.com/2009/07/rkelly-in-mask1.jpg

No more excuses

We are sorry. We know you want the dish. Baby, we want to give it to you and give it to you hard...Tomorrow major Crawdad news. It's on and it's wet.

Penn is puttin it IN Natalie Portman

Sean freaking Penn. Are you even still relevant? What the fuck ever dude! We hate Sean Penn for how he treated Madonna and his bold arrogance. Ugh, you fug. You think you're such a badass. We disagree. You are a tosser who isn't Spicolli anymore. So, blow it out a rubber hose douchebag.

You act so above it all. Fucking Chris Rock couldn't make a joke on 'Lame-O Jude Law because of you. The man is a comedian and was hosting the Academy's. Surely, he was going to crack some jokes on Jude the Nanny fucker. Then, rescue save hoe (that's you Sean) tried to talk about how Jude is one of the greatest actors of OUR TIME. Shit, we just want to shoot you in the face with a bow and arrow. HATE YOU! Seriously, greatest actors of our time? We guess this makes you King of ALL ACTORS IN OUR TIME. Go to hell No Peen Penn.

Yeah, that's your name now, No Peen Penn. How the fuck did you get Natalie Portman? What a no count talentless act too. The two of you together make for a great movie. Siiiiiiiiiiiiiike! The two of you together make for a great trip to Planned Parenthood.

The sad thing is we can't feel sorry for your ex- wife Robin Wright Penn because she married your Wrinkled Ass Face. Here's to you Sean Penn a true fucking asshole, King of Actors, Wrinkled Ass Face, and The saltiest of Crawdaddies.

P.S. You better be glad we haven't mentioned your tall tales of Blow and Lohan. We know you're really just an old sad sac of man.

Queremos Que El Pene

Like omg, we luv Benicio Del Toro. Just his name causes sensations between our legs. What can we say all girls fall prey to this Crawdaddy. Why wouldn't they? Why wouldn't we? Ahhhhhh, Gawd he makes bitches suck him off in an elevator because they can't lose the chance. That's probably the smartest thing Scarlett Johansson has ever done.

Shmanyways, in the words of Shirley from Garbage we feel this way for Del FUCK ME Toro: queremos morir por usted siente dolor para que usted nos toque un cuchillo y sangra el corazón y nuestro dolor lacrimógenos aparte. InFUCKINGdeed!

Here is this mofo's list of lucky young bitches:

Charlize Theron 33

Sophie Dahl 31

Heather Graham 39

Scarlett Johansson 24 (sucked him off after the Academy Awards in an elevator)

Lindsay Lohan 23 (probably did blow and then sucked him off)

Alicia Silverstone 32

Ines Misan 42
Monet Mazur 33

*just a lucky few*

We are done talking about these lucky hoes. If only we could spend time with this true Hispanic Aquarius Love GOD. Benicio 42 and lovin it.

With no Hughes we have the blues

John Hughes, writer, director, and producer movies that spawned a hopeless/hopeful generation passed this morning. John passed due to Heart Attack.

We are sad. RIP

Clooney has found new Poo-nanneeeeee

Salt water crustacean George Clooney has got a new piece. I swear he picks up and dumps bitches so fast. Go Speed Racer, Go! I hope his ass isn't that fast in bed. Gawd, can you imagine bumping uglies with 'Cloone What a Goone'. I bet when he is on top of a hoe, he grunts and BIG BEADS of white creamy sweat drop between gals itty bitties. Nasty.

Shmanyways, Clooney is dating Italian faux actress and model Elisabetta Canalis. Hoe is 30 and just like Cloone likes em. She is tall, brunette, and open for bizNezz! Just thinking about this shit gets me ready to go Voltron. Cloone thinks he is so ffffffffffucking awesome. Picking up hookers on terraces at hotels in Rome. WHATEVA Heather. Lick it up baby. LICK IT UP!!!!!!!

He is not Benicio Del Toro. Only Benicio can pull that shit. Wow, I just got all hot and bothered thinking about Benicio. So, screw this I need to go rent Excess Baggage and have some private time...you know $.25 Cent peeps.

Son of Crawdaddy CAUGHT

Oh son of Crawdaddy Michael Douglas, CAUGHT fucking blazed out in a hotel room with over $18,000.00 worth of Meth(story from NY Post). Cameron Douglas better be glad that Lindz Blowhan wasn't around. She would've bathed in that meth and found some unsuspecting actress to lick out(looking at you Misha Barton)...Hell she might've gone back to her old ways and given Cameron a Blow Pop. Hehehe Blow Pop. It's hard to put down the dick.

Stupid Cameron you could've gotten a blow pop from Lindz instead busta is locked up, won't let him out.

What will Crawdaddy Michael think? Fuck he doesn't care. He's just going to finger Catherine Zeta and forget all about it.

We know we know

Sorry Vags and Peens! We've been busy. Don't you worry. We have more adventures from the watering hole coming soon...as in later on this evening. Get ready for some serious updates. xxx