LQQk b4 U pee

A woman at the Monticello Walmart had an unfortunate experience. She was stuck to a toilet seat in the bathroom at Wally World. Apparently, someone had put super glue on the toilet seat...what an asshole.

Seriously, women one needs to really look before you sit down. I know that super clue is clear but there had to be some sort of residue. I say toilet seat covers and tissue are the answer. Personally, I hate the people who hover. Piss gets everywhere that way and most people don't wipe the seat.

lQQk before you pee! I feel so sorry for that lady.

Abreu for your voo voo

William Abreu, 43, high-school administrator, asked students to give him oral sex for a summer job. This is beyond gross. Seriously, why would he remotely think this is a proposition that you could ask anyone under 18?!!

People are losing their minds. We really can't go further with this one. I can't make a joke it's just stupid. I hope this sucker gets propositioned in JAIL.

For more on this story check with NY Daily News.

Your new Crawdad Momma

Thanks to disinfo for this amazing story of this crazy Florida teacher who helped her students get rid of demons. YES, demons! Danielle Harkins, 35, took students to the pier and convinced 7 students to cut themselves to release demons. After the ritual, she had the students burn themselves to to prevent the demons from returning.

Seriously this woman has entered Crazy Town or maybe she is just pre-menopausal! We are the same age and I figure I might be pre-menopausal. I haven't reached the demon phase yet. I'm still stuck in the leprechaun phase. 

CDC Responds to YO fears

CDC spokesman David Daigle said the agency  "does not know of a virus or condition that would reanimate the dead (or one that would present zombie-like symptoms". Phew, I can relax now. Honestly, I've never been one for the zombie apocalypse happening. However, it's not like a bunch of zombies aren't walking around or driving like assholes right now.

I'm sure we can trust the CDC spokesman and his agency. They would never ever keep anything from the American public would they? Hmm, swine flu anyone? Um, mercury in vaccines? Pastuerized milk is the only milk that's safe?

Yes, I totally trust the CDC!

Check these things out : Pasteurized Milk Vaccines RT article

Sanrio would be pissed

We are not sure what is up with Courtney Stodden and her obviously FUCKED UP Dharma boyfriend but this is not okay! The messages these two love to spread are becoming stranger and stranger. What do you think of this video?

I now wonder if this girl is hypnotized and on a steady diet of drugs and purina. Surely, she isn't making these decisions on her own? Either way this is not how I would want to see a friend or an enemy. When will these ^&&&(*###$%% (girls) WAKE UP??????????

Oh, Doug you are an asshole!

Check out this article from Vigilant Citizen.

Prevention

No trojan man, the US Dept. of Homeland Security has a list of words that they find 'suspect' and might be an alarm to check up on you! These words are all over the damn place. I mean my ass can't revert back to 5th grade science and talk to you about cumulus clouds without ringing some alarm for DHS. I think that's pretty lame.

Shmanyways, take a look at this RT article for more info on words that will Ring the Alarm like Beyonce'.

Suspended Crawdaddy

The Supreme Court of South Carolina suspended Thad Viers from practicing law. What is homeboy going to do now? Probably spend about $60 at the local Hooters. The man likes to keep it classy. You know living in Myrtle Beach, getting arrested for harassing women, and interning with Strom Thurmond back in the day.

Here's looking at you, Thad.

ValderAssma is at it again

Could it be that Fez has another hard pickle in his pocket for a new lady? Seems like Minka is the latest to fall for the bull that is Wilmer. I really can't believe it like T-Pain that Wilmer is now with another one. How many girls can this guy get?

I hope these women have heard of dry humping. It seems the only way to travel with this guy. Who knows what lie is being tucked into his hanes for 'her' way.