Melley Mel think your peen is gonna swell

Anti Semite, drunk, actor, director, douche bag and crawdaddy extraordinaire Mel Gibson wants to take the crustacean world by storm. As we begin our tale of how a crawdaddy gets his lady lovely we want to review several things. Remember that Mel Gibson is a SUB PAR STAR. Seriously people, he sucks. Okay okay so Braveheart. Big deal its more like Fake Heart. Okay okay Passion of the Christ. Bah hum bug its more like Passion for young p**sy. Oh sure, Leathal Weapon his peen is a leathal weapon. Setting bombs on beef curtains everywhere.

Maybe that's what happened. Mel got scared of his ex-wife's pussy drop. Yes, pussy drop. It happens. We are afraid. Infact, we fully support The Stop For No Pussy Drop Surgery! Ladies start putting money in your piggy banks. Once you become a cougar, you will need to invest in keepin it tight, aiiight!

Alright, back to Swell Mel. Two weeks after FILING for divorce, Mel went out to a premiere for XMen: Whore-igins with his new girlfriend, Oksana Grigorieva. Supposedly this bitch is a singer or something. Anyway, Oksana is 39 and Swell Mel is 53. Anyway, bitch is preggers. So, soon her pussy will drop and Mel will be off looking for new curtains. LOOK OUT!!!!

Gettin Puffy for Cassie

Sean P. Diddy Combs aka Puff Daddy, Puffy, Snuffa luffagus, P. Diddy, P. Dickle, Diddy, Assmunch, Lamo, Ashton Kutcher's butt plug, etc divorced his long time girlfriend and short time wife Kim Porter. Kim Porter beautiful model and good mom held it down for this twat only to be fucked over and for what? We will tell you for what. For a no talentless hack Cassie. You may not remember her two singles Me and U...shit we forgot the other but anyway yeah Cassie lame.

Sean is 39 and Cassie is 22. Cassie must have P. Dickle pussymatized because her record sold for shit and P. Dickle didn't drop her. Also, this girl had tons of horrible live performances. Everyone in the music game was throwing mad tomatoes at her ass but Snuffa luffagus still chooses to put out another record of hers this year. WOW. He always drops people from his label. He drops em faster than we drop our asses to the floor when we hear 'drop it like its hot'! He loves his new position as crawdaddy.

Anyway, we're bored of talking about this faux Beyonce/Jay Z couple.

We Luv Vampire Crawdaddies

Oh, Bill Compton. Damn! We want a piece of that. Seriously, we dream of that smuldering stare looking at us. We long to be Sookie. Bill Compton and Sookie Stackhouse they pretty much get it on every episode.

Sookie is 25 and Bill is 175. Now, thats a crawdaddy. However, this is a crawdaddy we would gladly tumble in a coffin with!

Hulk Hoe-gan sees double

Well, where do we start? There is so much to say but jeez you guys know the story. A former Star Wrestler so infatuated with his daughter, divorces wife and begins dating a girl who looks just like her. I mean this is some fucked up Double Mint Twins shit! Look at that. Those bitches almost have the same smile.

We wonder what Linda Hogan (The Hulksters ex wife) thinks. Bet she has no time to think. Once she got dumped, she went out and got some fresh dick. Linda decided to jump in the jungle with all the other cougars and makeout with a tighter ball sac.

But back to the crawdaddy. He is in the land of mediocrity and molesting his daughter without molesting his daughter. Who knew that The Hulkster was so smart.

Poor Poor Brooke Hogan her dad is a crawdaddy and her mom is a cougar. What does that make Brooke?

Shmanyways, here are some more pics to wet your whistle. Look at Hulk rockin his babby.

Marilyn Manson whats in yo pantz-son?

Okay, so first we have to just say that Marilyn Manson is straight up fug! I mean he is where fug goes to die. Wooooweee, you ugly. Yeah Yeah you ugly. You are ugly! Yo momma even knows you're ugly.

Now that we've gotten that out of the way, we can deal with this fugly crustacean. Marilyn Manson born Brian Warner began dating Evan Rachel Wood after or before (blink blink) divorcing burlesque model Dita Von Teese. What a lucky ass crawdaddy. God, why of all the crawdaddies in the world did these bitches get caught up with this fugly dickling?

Shmanyways, Marilyn began dating Evan when she was 19. He was 38! Sure, fuck your daughter dude. He claims that Dita was making him turn into a more 'responsible' adult. Right and we wear tampons up our buttholes for pleasure. She probably just wanted you to treat her with respect and lick her pussy right. BUT we know that shit ain't happen with Marilyn Fugson.

Fugson says that Ms. Wood is his 'twin'. Yuck. Don't fuck your twin thats some incestuous shit.
I'm sure one day Ms. Wood will want some real wood and drop that no talent fugly fuck. Until then enjoy your time down under. Down under water. Sing an ole crawdaddy spiritual about "let my crawdad goooooooo".

I call BULLSHIT

During my down time, I read an article about how old men chasing young women...is GOOD! Oh, yeah sis ta. Supposedly, by doing this men are now contributing to the longevity of the survival of species. Aargh! More likely they are contributing to the longevity of their wrinkled up peen.

Researchers from Stanford and the University of California in Santa Barbara say that fatherhood from an old man will delay death. Big ups Charlie Chaplin! Somehow, evolutionary theory says that people die when their reproductive lives are complete. Hmmmmmmmmm, I CALL BULLSHIT.

What do you think? Oh well, if you are a dude don't have a baby until about 40 something. Add some years to your life. Ha, really you're just adding miles for your sad droopy dick.


Thanks to Science Blog for information.

Coming Soon 2 a Blog Right Here

Soon, you will get to embrace local crawdaddies!!!!!!!!!!! Ahh, but don't get to excited thinking you're gonna get up on someones piece. Go down to the watering hole and find YOUR OWN.

Don't be sccccccccared

Last night i had a chance to get a sneak peek of a crawdaddy bulge. It was something else in those khaki shorts. I almost caught the vapors. Seriously, I felt one of those old fainting spells coming over me. It made me long to be the cotton on that silver foxes legs. What would you do if you had a chance to get up on a crawdaddy? I missed my opportunity. Went home with a complete buster and I was left reminiscing over...