Clooney has found new Poo-nanneeeeee

Salt water crustacean George Clooney has got a new piece. I swear he picks up and dumps bitches so fast. Go Speed Racer, Go! I hope his ass isn't that fast in bed. Gawd, can you imagine bumping uglies with 'Cloone What a Goone'. I bet when he is on top of a hoe, he grunts and BIG BEADS of white creamy sweat drop between gals itty bitties. Nasty.

Shmanyways, Clooney is dating Italian faux actress and model Elisabetta Canalis. Hoe is 30 and just like Cloone likes em. She is tall, brunette, and open for bizNezz! Just thinking about this shit gets me ready to go Voltron. Cloone thinks he is so ffffffffffucking awesome. Picking up hookers on terraces at hotels in Rome. WHATEVA Heather. Lick it up baby. LICK IT UP!!!!!!!

He is not Benicio Del Toro. Only Benicio can pull that shit. Wow, I just got all hot and bothered thinking about Benicio. So, screw this I need to go rent Excess Baggage and have some private time...you know $.25 Cent peeps.

Son of Crawdaddy CAUGHT

Oh son of Crawdaddy Michael Douglas, CAUGHT fucking blazed out in a hotel room with over $18,000.00 worth of Meth(story from NY Post). Cameron Douglas better be glad that Lindz Blowhan wasn't around. She would've bathed in that meth and found some unsuspecting actress to lick out(looking at you Misha Barton)...Hell she might've gone back to her old ways and given Cameron a Blow Pop. Hehehe Blow Pop. It's hard to put down the dick.

Stupid Cameron you could've gotten a blow pop from Lindz instead busta is locked up, won't let him out.

What will Crawdaddy Michael think? Fuck he doesn't care. He's just going to finger Catherine Zeta and forget all about it.

We know we know

Sorry Vags and Peens! We've been busy. Don't you worry. We have more adventures from the watering hole coming soon...as in later on this evening. Get ready for some serious updates. xxx

Lucky gets lucky

Cartoon Crawdaddies they do exist. Our first candiate is Elroy "Lucky" Kleinschmidt. This guy had the hots for Luanne Platter. Who is Hank Hill's niece. Well, Lucky was lucky because somehow he nailed Luanne's fine ass. Whoa, I mean this girl has a bubble booty, round and bouncy. Lucky charmed her with his sensitivity and his random, stupid, and yet right on advice. Must be nice. It's how all crawdaddies are really. Stupid, sensitive, random, and right on. Fucking daddies. Get over yourself. Lucky knocked up Luanne and that was that. They got hitched. They had a baby. Now, Luanne may need to teach their daughter about the crawdaddies before she becomes captured in the crawdad hole.

Local Crawdaddies

Hey Ladies and Gents!
We will be starting Local Crawdaddies next week. Please email us your pictures of Local Crawdaddies in action.

This will be fun!!!!! Spread the word.

50 Reasons Our Ass

Okay, wtf? Seriously, look at that geezer! This man wrote an article on the 50 Reasons younger women date older men. Some of his reasons are valid and some are trying to be cheeky. We don't care. It's pretty much all bullshit. Yeah, he calls it the 'Daddy Complex' or 'Sugar Daddy Syndrome', HA. What the fuck ever, Ed. It's called Heading Down To The Crawdad Hole. We know that no one is kissing on your wrinkled up peen. Eeew and that stache you have, you have no Lolilta.

Ahhh Shmanyways, we thought you should know some of the reasons. Click on the above title, 50 Reasons Our Ass and it will take you to Ed's article.
If you want to know what we here at Crawdaddies think...here it is. Hold onto your Vagisil!
These young bitches just want some love. They want someone who may look distinguished. Hopefully with more money than they have...check that bank account bitches. Check his pockets for an American Express Card.
Good Luck New Hookers on the Block!

It must be true about gerbils hanging near your doodoo

Thinking about why Richard Gere isn't a crawdaddy.

Morgan is a whoreagain

Holy Shittolies Batman! I can't fucking believe it. Is this true? Have angels fallen to Earth? Have patron saints become patronizing saints. NO NO No no no no no Morgan Freeman. Seriously, We can't believe it. We are crying crocodile tears. This couldn't be, Morgan Freeman is our grandad. He is an amazing actor. He is a standup man. Surely, he didn't go the way of 'Gettin a Woody' Woody Allen. Oh fuck! It's on. So lets go through all of this. We ladies need the truth and we can handle the truth.
So Mr. Freeman is supposedly dating his step granddaughter. Huh? This is about to get all Law and Order. Now hold onto your panties lady...this relationship has been going on for 10 YEARS!!!
Whhhhhhhhat? We know your head just spun around like you're Linda Blair in the Exorcist. Shit, we're throwing up split pea soup right now. We are dumb founded. This bitch is only 27. Ha Morgan is 72. Switch them numbers bitches. That's how you attract people. If you are 32, date someone who is 23. If you are 56, date someone who is 65. Ugh.
So, this girls name is Myrna and we just have no idea what to say about her. Trifling! She is the granddaughter of his first wife and was practically raised by him and his second wife. Like we said some fucking Law and Order shit. Damn, that's crazy and a black man getting up all in this shit that we thought only crazy white folks do. Well, damn we're going to have to take this to the NAACP to Al Sharpton to Obama.
Mr. Freeman, we never thought we'd see the day. Your ticket of being a Free-man has been revoked!!!!!!!!
We will continue to keep you ladies updated on this rat and his pussy cheese.