Saturday, October 13, 2012

Nashville: I've lost my shirt just like the 99%, fuck off

The best thing about this show is Connie Britton. I swear the entire time I watched this show I was waiting for Rubberman to come and get someone pregnant. Oh alas, the latex peen never penetrated. I thought penetration had to happen when Hayden Pantydrop is on the screen.

Yes ladies and gents, Hayden is in full effect up in this show. Calling all silver-foxes, bohunks, Wall Streeters,  Nascar drivers, and  Nashville indy elite ‘get you some Pantydrop’. Word on the street is that at a new Nashville eatery and music venue the blonde ingénue was asked to act her way in by the security staff. Cool thing is the security guard seemed to not know the young starlet. Asking patrons to act or do a little rag time is a typical request from this gent. Pantydrop seemed unfazed by the security guards prompt. I have to give a cookie when it’s due and Hayden deserves one. HAYyoucangetintomyDEN waited patiently in line until her table was set.

Schmanyways, back to Nashville, the opening scene is rich, white,  and stale.  The damn General Jackson??!! Please give me buckets of wine coolers at Lonny’s, naked drunken karaoke, fish sandwiches on white bread with mustard, TSU homecoming, and Bill Hall that’s the Nashville I like. I prefer DJ Monkeypop, Cedar Glades, back roads, and Charlotte Avenue. Fuck this Gulch, Pinnacle building, rich houses, and private school bonanza.  I personally think this show is about selling real estate. That Pinnacle building has set empty for the longest. Whatever!

 So, old rhinestones meet fake cubic zirconia. Fake cubic zirconia decides it wants rhinestones. It goes for rhinestones with every ho skill it found on Dickerson Rd. or at St. Cecilia. Old rhinestones is like ‘oh hellllll naw’. She  gone take her high heel boots and French Shoppe fashions off and protect the neck!

20 Things to be noticed.
1.       The Juliette Barnes as Carrie Underwood moment was the opening dressing room scene.     What a BITCH.
2.       Juliette’s ringtone…W O W
3.       In Rayna’s dressing room scene: the guy who told her to make a decision about the co-tour, he had such a weird mouth. It was molester mouth.
4.       The hallway scene with Deacon and Juliette pure Crawdaddy Crushin
5.       Loveless Café T-shirt, fashion moment.
6.       I love old timers.
7.       Avery is everything I hate about East Nashville.
8.       The art direction and wardrobe got it right.
9.       Sluts always pay twice! ***In regards to Juliette offering to pay double if Deacon plays with her**
10.   I like to have my Diva dips with white wine, smittle, cheese, and a cat.
11.   OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, Nashville is an industrial cultural juggernaut.
12.   I like the backwater part of Nashville without the stray dogs.
13.   Who doesn’t melt when they hear Tammy Wynette?
14.   Nashville sunsets are beautiful.
15.   Miyagi moment: don’t let it define you, let it refine you.
16.   Soft lighting or as I like to call it Babs Walters lighting is the best!
17.   I want to tell a lot of people to kiss my decision as I walk out the door.
18.   Nashville is like Dallas.
19.   When will you hashtag #NashvilleABC?
20.   I can’t wait for the scene at Bongo Java or better yet Frothy Monkey.

Who is this?

Monarch Moment

Old School

Originality 27!

Liz would yawn

'you have your pictures! can't you leave us alone?!'