Thursday, September 17, 2009

Crawdaddies fall prey to Panettiere

Okay, this is more about Hayden Panettiere. She is the queen of dating Crawdaddies. I mean this bitch is 20 and is only fucking Crawdaddies. She thinks she is hot hot stuff. No, Donna Summer you are not! When we look at her, we think she must smell like Elizabeth Arden Red Door and fragranced Playtex Tampons.

Poor poor Milo. He fell prey. I think she is where Crawdaddies go to die. This bitch is a Crawdad catcher. She goes down to the watering hole. Sucks up all the Crawdads with her beef curtains. She heads back home and then plays with one Crawdaddy for awhile, while keeping the others locked up in her Pussy lab until she's ready to fuck them then bite their heads off. She's our modern day Black Widow. Fuck that, WHITE Widow! Shmanyways, Milo Ventimiglia, 31, who plays Peter Pertelli on Heroes was dumped by the WHITE Widow. ALERT ALERT she is now trying to get the dude kicked off the show. Why? Because she is a douche. Litte Ms. White Bitch Widow needed to go out every night and show her snatch to somebody. However, Milo is not down with the scene. So, what happens. WHITE Widow gets pissed and then goes into her Pussy lad for some other Crawdad.

The Crawdad she picked... fucking Harry Morton. Lindsay Blowhan's old dick. Seriously? Wow. Who are these bitches? Harry Morton, 28, heir to Hard Rock Chain, spilled out of the Pussy lab to become sponsor to food, coke, and fun. Boooooring. Then she dumped his ass for we roll our eyes Stephen Colleti. Who is he? Some kid who was on that Reality Show Laguna Beach. We know. We know. You hate us. That's all we're going to say about his ass. Who cares? You do. Sorry, we just mentioned his ass because her Pussy Lab is so full who knows whats going to fall out next. We are interested. We figured you might be as well.
We feel sorry for all the Crawdaddies that cross this bitches path. She is a true Crawdaddy Catcher. Here's to you, Hayden! Can't wait to see your next unsuspecting Crawdaddy.


  1. You fail to mention that Hairy Morton owns a club called "the pink taco". barrrrffffff!

  2. i feel like i've been run over by a truck!

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Now how do youuuuuuuuuuuu feel about it?